


Rather Be Unmade

by addy_is_not_a_laddy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Hand Jobs, Multi, OT3, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 16:35:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15800418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addy_is_not_a_laddy/pseuds/addy_is_not_a_laddy
Summary: Equius Zahhak got more than he bargained for, when he hired the two Lalondes from a Multitalented Domestic Service Agency.  Rose and Roxy got exactly what they wanted though, and everyone managed to learn something new in the process.





	Rather Be Unmade

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Elby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elby/gifts).



Roxy and Rose read over the “potential vocational commission” board casually. Roxy just called it the booty call board, Rose preferred to call it by its troll-assigned name just to be contrary. She still managed to give the words the same inflection as Roxy’s preferred moniker. The board had the usual assignments available, and Roxy snapped an overnight pale assignment up while they continued to scan for potential joint assignments. Rose was on a long-term job that was about to finish up, and Roxy didn’t want to jump into another assignment so quickly when there was potential they could be assigned together even temporarily.  
  
Rose plucked up one of the papers and dragged Roxy away, purposefully sitting them in one of the break areas to go over the details of the assignment. Roxy could see what Rose had caught as soon as she got a chance to read it. The contract was ongoing and open, and apparently was becoming available to more and more people as the client continued to search for the perfect fit to his situation. The tasks were suspiciously vague, and Roxy could read between the lines as easily as Rose. One did not offer money like that for purely “domestic help for hivehold and wellness” unless wellness had a quadranted slant.  
  
Roxy pulled up the commission number on her phone and she and Rose read together the many notes that others had left about their experiences. None had lasted longer than a perigee or two, and those who had lasted longest had been the ones who had taken some initiative on attempting some quadrant shenanigans, though none were really successful. What really caught Rose’s eye though, was an innocuous line that was really what they had been looking for all along. “Quadrant-corners welcome to apply together.” It was perfect.  
  
All the notes that were left confirmed that there was no physical abuse in the house, nor verbal abuse. Truly, it couldn’t have been better, if it weren’t for the pickiness of the patron. Roxy’s excitement built till she was practically vibrating, and they signed up on the spot so that they could get a look at the contract. There were a few nondisclosure agreements, pretty standard, and Rose assured Roxy that there was nothing strange about them. They didn’t even stipulate secrecy from the client’s troll quadrants, which. Well, that could be a problem, but Rose had a sixth sense about these things and didn’t seem to think it would be.  
  
His hive was well-sized as troll hives went, though about normal for his hemocaste. Based on the size of the hive, Rose guessed he probably couldn’t afford the upkeep for a troll domestic assistant higher than brown. Still, he could have afforded one. He was the highest-spectrum that either of them had ever taken a potential long-term assignment for, too. Single-night assignations went all the way across the spectrum, but the higher a troll was the more it was expected that even their paid quadrants be trolls.  
  
Rose never batted an eyelash at anything but Roxy had to work at not reacting to the Alternian “high art” on the walls. Mostly she had to swallow any giggles she might have had. She did let herself cough a little bit though, because she’d never seen a cock as big as the one on the statue directly in front of the door. Truly, a masterwork of art.  
  
Until she turned and saw their client. He was statuesque himself, tall and built like a brick shithouse. He seemed to almost tremble with barely-restrained strength, as he looked them both solidly in the eyes for a few seconds before averting his gaze and muttering something to himself quietly. He began patting himself looking for something, and Roxy darted forward quick as you please with a clean, dry towel in hand. He froze at her sudden approach, and hesitated a long moment before taking the towel from her with nearly a hunted look in his eyes. Then he gave an understated nod and left. He hadn’t even given either of them any instruction. Roxy called after him.  
  
“I’ll just start on the entryway then!” He didn’t respond, but he didn’t refute it so she shrugged.  
  
Rose grinned as he disappeared through the door and turned to Roxy. “That was well-timed. He’s off-balance, try to keep him that way today. We have a perigee to get things together and I want to see what we’re dealing with and plant the seeds early.”  
  
Roxy laughed. “That guy couldn’t be more desperate for pale attention if he tried, I’m not worried about it. I’m kind of jealous of you though. I want eat him like a cake. Still, it’s always fun to make a new friend.”  
  
Rose tapped her lips thoughtfully. “I’ll feel out and see where we’re taking this, and let you know. I… don’t think you have to entirely rule him out. I have a feeling.”  
  
“Oooooh, a _feeling_.” Roxy giggled. “That’s promising. I hope you’re right!”  
  
—  
  
They weren’t the only humans in the house, when they went exploring for a cleaning closet or perhaps some sort of manual possibly left by other housekeepers. Rose’s eyebrow went up entirely too far the more they learned about the exact state of the house. There wasn’t any particular need for more help cleaning, though they would of course spread the load based on the available hands to do it. Rather, it was an open secret exactly what Mister Zahhak was after.  
  
Roxy cozied up to the head servant easily enough, with her huge grin and her bubbly demeanor, and learned that while Zahhak had a moirail, she had never been to Earth and was still fleetbound. Zahhak had managed to get stationed on Earth relatively recently after his ascension, but his moirail was lower than him by enough that she had to wait until she could be assigned with him. Roxy had a new goal, which was to make friends with this troll if at all possible to prevent her innards from becoming her outards. Single-night assignations didn’t generally have that risk, and most long-term assignments she chose to stay on the trolls didn’t actually have quadrants equivalent to the one she was standing in for. It was pure self-preservation.  
  
One thing that Rose was genuinely surprised to learn was that Zahhak had brought his lusus with him to Earth. He rarely interacted with his lusus, because according to Madoka the creature was incredibly delicate, and Zahhak had difficulty avoiding injuring it if he touched it at all. Madoka was in charge of the lusus, but she insisted it was more like being an extra set of arms for Aurthour than actually having to take care of it. Him. Madoka insisted it was easier just to gender him, and he didn’t mind. He was also very keen of mind for a lusus.  
  
Trystin grilled them on their eating preferences. She had a lot of leeway on food preparation, and she took advantage of it to make sure that they got a lot of variety and nutrition alongside some occasional frivolities. Juliana was mostly in charge of the grounds and the upkeep of the outside of the house, and Aisha and Fiala were the other two who cleaned house. Aisha liked dusting and Fiala liked vacuuming, though sometimes they switched it up to keep it fresh. They decided together to leave the upkeep of the museum area to Rose, since it constantly needed dusting but rarely much more in-depth cleaning. Plus, if it was let go for a couple weeks because they didn’t know what they were doing, Rose read between the lines, it wasn’t terribly important. They at least trusted that Rose wouldn’t completely destroy anything.  
  
Roxy was assigned to cleaning up the dining room, which rarely saw use. Everyone, excluding Zahhak, usually ate in the kitchen. He generally ate in his room. The two of them would also help with any other extra bits that the rest of the staff asked. Rose didn’t mind that, since their workday was pretty regular. Still, she was sure that if she had her own work that was more important they would understand. Work of course being a euphemism for any sort of quadrant activities that Rose or Roxy were doing. Luckily or unluckily, there was a fresh mess in the oven that Trystin wanted help with.  
  
—  
  
Equius was a bit tired of searching for good help, but he was determined. He had managed to find such capable servants in the rest of his staff, and yet the last one or two seemed to be the hardest fit. They were either too impetuous, or too servile, or too human. Well, the last wasn’t really something they could help, but neither could Equius help that it was something that got under his skin. He wanted Aradia back. She had left the planet rather than be near him any longer, and it was completely baffling. She was everything he could have hoped for in a lowblood servant, and he knew he was everything a highblood should be. Still, she was gone now, and he had to pick up the slack.  
  
These two new servants had promise. He didn’t know much about them yet except that they were something like quadrant-corners, human siblings. Ostensibly that was supposed to mean they shared a progenitor, or were gestated together, but as far as he could tell their progenitors had been quadranted after having human-birthed them. Human quadrants weren’t even true quadrants, and the fact that they raised their own young was both horrifying and puzzling. Equius was glad he would never have to deal with… mammal births. That was fine for musclebeasts, but disgusting to consider in a sapient species. He shuddered and pushed it aside mentally, sweating. He decided to check in on how the two of them were settling in, and found one of them in the kitchen half-out of the oven.  
  
The only half that was out of the oven of course was her rear end, and Equius clenched his jaw, clearing his throat. There was the sound of a tooth cracking as well, and the woman in the oven didn’t pause in her work. She simply called out of the oven.  
  
“It will be a bit, Mister Zahhak. I simply must get this spot clean or it will dry on again. You can go bother Roxy if you’d like, she loves to talk about things.” It was the voice of the taller human. He wasn’t sure what her name was yet, the two of them had such similar names. She didn’t even pull her head out of the oven after a few more minutes. He was sure he was imagining that her rear end was moving rather more than necessary to clean an oven. She was remarkably dedicated to her task, though she was perhaps less deferential than he would have preferred. Somehow. He couldn’t put his finger on it. Once he’d decided she was too hard at work to bother, he continued to wander his own hive in search of his other new servant. Roxy, she’d said. Then the one in the oven must have been Rose.  
  
He found Roxy sitting in a spotless dining room and rubbing her hands as though they ached. Her cleaning implements beside her were markedly less spotless. It was the mark of someone less well-acquainted with housework that she was aching so soon, and it made him curious. Still, she surprised him by how she greeted him.  
  
She leaped to her feet with a sudden, broad grin, and pulled yet another towel out of nowhere to hand to him. He took it, but considered the slight girl in front of him.  
  
“I heard it’s a good idea to always have an extra towel on hand for you, Mister Zahhak. I want to be helpful however I can! I would be uncomfortable if I sweat so much I never felt dry, and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” She sidled over to him as she spoke, and took his arm. He froze in incredulity. She- if he hadn’t been sure before this had to be clearly a pale overture. He let her lead him by the arm to the table to sit, curiosity thoroughly peaked.  
  
“It must be rough, your moirail still being out with the fleet.” She looked sad, and he almost got the sense she was sad for him… but that was ridiculous. He jerked up to look her in the eye once he’d fully processed what she’d said.  
  
“How do you know that?” Servants gossiping, no doubt. He might have to have a talk with them about acceptable topics of conversation with temporary servants.  
  
She gestured to his right shoulder and shrugged. “I have eyes. That’s an older tradition, but I recognize it. You wanna talk about them?”  
  
He tried to take a steadying breath, and closed his eyes for a moment. He put the pin on his clothes every morning, but he hadn’t realized that a fresh servant would recognize its meaning so quickly. He knew highbloods who didn’t recognize the significance of the little olive pin, let alone its positioning.  
  
“I must go.” He stood too quickly, his hands flat on the table. The table didn’t shift, but the chair he was sitting in was flung backwards and somewhat crumpled. Roxy watched him with innocent concern, and he couldn’t stand it. He paced out of the room mechanically, letting his self-control take forefront in his brain. He placed each step with care, moved his arms a precise distance each step, and repeated the process. She called after him, nearly making him stumble.  
  
“Let me know if you ever need to talk about it, or if you’re just bored. There’s only so much house to clean, right?” He could hear the helpfulness in her voice, and he focused even harder on making individual steps. He was halfway back to his room when he came across Rose again. Her face had streaks of soot on it somehow, but the rest of her was immaculate. She paused when she saw him and rested her hands on her hips, smirking. His hand twitched in some aborted movement, as he continued on his way. She didn’t say a word, and he didn’t trust his own voice at the moment, but he could feel her haughty eyes on his back as he walked away.  
  
Rose was… unexpected. She watched him in a way he hadn’t experienced from a human before. It was the other one that had the lion’s share of his attention though. Roxy had been chipper, but also somber. She was surprisingly quick to offer him a towel and express concern for his well-being. It was almost… it- it couldn’t be what he thought it was. Still, perhaps he could entertain her delusion of trollmanity.  
  
Yes. That would do nicely. He would still have to deal with her and the other one, with Rose. There was a glimmer of promise in her demeanor, and it was fascinating. Perhaps he could finally learn to understand humans better, rather than be constantly baffled by his serving staff. Her behavior could have been better described as trollish than human, and it made him suspect that perhaps the other humans had been purposefully holding out on him. Or these two were remarkable specimens of their kind. Certainly at least Rose was not unpleasant to look at. He determinedly did not think of the swaying of her rear as she scrubbed the oven. Rose had looked at him as he left as though she knew exactly what her human faux-broodmate had done and found amusement in his plight. It was infuriating and intriguing.  
  
The soulful looks that Roxy had given him, though. She had picked out the pin and its meanings with startling speed and accuracy, and had extended an invitation to continue a conversation he had barely begun before leaving. He reached his room, feeling something rise in his stomach. He would inquire with Trystin to be sure there hadn’t been some sort of contamination in the grubloaf he’d had for lunch. It would not do to be ill so soon after receiving new staff.  
  
—  
  
Rose knew she’d have to catch him at just the right moment, and he’d handed her such a beautiful opportunity only her second day by asking her to itemize the art collection and its condition, then present her findings to him. She did the work immediately, but avoided him or giving him the opportunity to ask for her report. She had a hunch that he would be too proud to call her to him, partly because he had such a one-on-one relationship with all of his staff.  
  
Part of what made this project so tantalizing was the prospect of getting into his head. The more Rose observed him the more she liked to imagine him writhing and trembling at her hand. Yes, it was hardly a burden to have found herself working for him. Even better if she got to fuck him.  
  
It took a solid week before she had the right opportunity to present her report. Rose had talked with the rest of the staff about her strategy, and they’d agreed to help with amusement. They liked Roxy and Rose well enough, and were eager to stop having rotating staff. It was Aisha who noted that Equius was in his room alone being particularly antisocial. She texted Rose, and Rose set to work. She’d last seen Equius the day before through a window as she’d been assisting Juliana in the gardens, and she’d noted his scowl with pleasure. The time was ripe.  
  
Rose clicked the knob loudly as she waltzed into his room, and angled herself such that she looked directly into his eyes. She knew the layout of the room before she’d come in, and she’d planned the approach she would take.  
  
“I have the inventory and damages report for the museum pieces, Zahhak.” She walked right on the edge of disrespect, but her tone was demure for now. She pretended not to acknowledge the writhing blue appendage a few feet below his face, but she did step inside the room and close the door. Zahhak was absolutely frozen, his face somewhere between horror, frustration, and arousal. He’d begun to sweat even harder than he already was, and it was perfect. He was perfect. Rose wanted to see him break- but not yet. Not today.  
  
“There are a total of 14 statue is the house, all in good condition. The green one with the four-foot cock needs some restoration work though. There is some damage on its phallus that appears to be from hanging something on it.” She stepped closer slowly, continuing her litany.  
Zahhak’s eyes were locked onto hers, and his bulge hadn’t stopped moving since she’d arrived. That more than anything told her she was on exactly the right track.  
  
“Out of your sixty-three paintings, forty are currently on display. Five of the ones in storage are in need of restoration due to light damage. Three have mishandling damage that may be irreparable. Sixteen of those on display may need some touching up, due to aforementioned light damage.” She was close enough to touch him now, and she put her hand over his on his bulge.  
  
He continued to sit frozen, but allowed her to move his hand away from his crotch and replace it with her own. His breath hitched as she tangled her fingers around the squirming mass and waggled the digits a bit.  
  
She had him in her hands now, and she knew this was going to be the most fun part.  
  
“Out of your twenty-three hand-drawn pieces, two need properly resealed and de-acidified. Very sloppy, using acidic paper for one’s art.”  
  
She squeezed just hard enough that it should have hurt at least a little bit, and he made a strangled noise, eyes still locked on hers. She straddled him, one foot on the floor and the other over his hips. He seemed to be choking a bit, but she was sure he would be fine. She rocked on him as she continued to twist her fingers around his bulge. As a side effect she was rubbing him against herself as well as rubbing him off. Conveniently.  
  
“I think the signature looked a bit familiar though. Zahhak, I had no idea you had such an interest in the fine arts.” She would have sounded more sarcastic if she hadn’t let a bit of breathiness creep into her voice just then.  
  
She could feel his bulge moving with increasing desperation, and leaned forward onto Zahhak’s lap, tightening her leg around his hip and grinding down on him. She used her other leg to maneuver the bucket Zahhak had placed nearby between Zahhak’s legs. She did it silently, nary a scrape to be heard. There was an art to these things, after all. She took her fondling hand and brought it up to his face, grinding down on him some more. His focus shifted to the slurry-tinted hand resting on his cheek. She kissed his cheek and rocked a little bit more, before pulling back and taking a long, slow lick up the drenched fingers. He actually choked that time, and she slipped off him with astounding speed. She pressed the prepared bucket between his legs in the next instant, and _gripped_  his bulge. He let out a cry, the first outright noise she had pulled from him, as he came messily and thoroughly into the bucket.  
  
“I hope my report has been to your satisfaction.” She wiped her hand on his shirt, and set the half-full bucket on the floor between his feet. With a smirk, she pinched his thigh as she sauntered out of the room. She knew he was watching her leave. 

**Author's Note:**

> I have a grander plan than this of course, but I at least managed one smut scene in the first chapter. Wish me luck working on the rest. I think it's bound to get weirder, so keep an eye on those tags and stay safe out there folks.


End file.
